Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Dear 4 year old Gavin...

[Note: I'm posting this a month after Gavin's birthday but for the record I did start writing this 2 weeks before his birthday but I wanted to give Nick a chance to add stuff and then I forgot to post in time but here it is]


Dear Gavin,
                You really looked forward to this birthday.  You were 3 ½ (according to you) until your birthday and then you turned 4.  You’ve been telling us the “big boy” things that you would do when you turned 4 (e.g. not being scared).  The day before your birthday we talked about your birthday party and turning 4, and you said “I wonder if I’ll look different.”  I suggested we take a picture of you that day and then one on your birthday to compare.  You looked in the mirror and said “I think I am starting to look different.”  You certainly are. Funny note: now that you’re 4 years old, when you reference past events you always preface it by saying “remember when I was 3 ½…”
                You’ve started to tell us jokes.  Some are real jokes and others are ones you make up. You have an amazing memory.  When someone teaches you a joke, you can repeat it word for word after only listening to it once.  You also make up your own “jokes”—some are just statements, you’re still learning what makes a joke funny.  You always ask us if your jokes are funny.  Not all of them are but we laugh because they are so ridiculous you make them funny. 
                You are starting to be interested in math.  You play with dice and add the dots up.  You also use your fingers to add and subtract.  Some simple math has become plain memory to you (e.g. you know 2+2=4 without having to count).  You request your favorite rock song in the car: “Sail” from Awolnation or “the Muse song” which you can recognize two beats in, it’s remarkable in my eyes (the Muse song is called ‘Glorious’).  You like the Muse song because “it starts out slow and then it speeds up.”  You have a serious crush on a girl from your class named Macy.  She’s the tiniest girl in your class.  You say you like her because she laughs at your jokes.  I was afraid you were harassing her and she did not reciprocate your attention but at your birthday party Macy’s mom confirmed that Macy looks forward to seeing you in school too.  Your dad and I are still perplexed at this because we do not talk to you about girls, and we do not encourage this, yet you say “I love her so much.”  J
                You still love cars: from the Disney movie Cars and any other cars.  Pretty much anything that has four wheels is your favorite toy/thing.  In fact, you are obsessed with racing.  We are trying to teach you that not everything is a race, you don’t have to be the fastest, not everything is about winning but you are very competitive.  Just a couple of weeks ago you watched a Nascar race on TV and could not stand to just watch.  You went to your room, got your “king” car (#43) and stood in front of the TV, placing your car in the middle of the cars pictured on TV and pretended like you were racing….and of course you “won.” You do not like to lose.  We have to work on your sportsmanship and being happy for others when they win. This is something that is slowly getting better.
                In addition to your Cars, you are also getting into two other types of play: building blocks and various types of art. You play with TRIO blocks, Lego’s, and Duplos almost every day. When you first started playing with building blocks, you refused to build anything other than the toy pictured on the box or in the instructions. You do such a good job following the 20+ steps to build something. You count out the number of bumps or segments on the blocks and line out what you need before assembling anything. Just this past week I (your dad) helped you understand how fun it can be to build new and interesting things. You’ve started to put pieces together randomly until they all of the sudden start to look like something. You are also getting better at taking the “usual” item in the instructions and finding way to make it your own. It wasn’t easy to get you to explore with the blocks (lots of “no daddy—that’s not what you do”), but you’re enjoying it now.  You are also really into making art: drawing, painting, and most recently, making abstract pictures with a variety of objects and glue. You are always able to explain very specific details about your art and the sense of joy and confidence you show is awesome.
                We started giving you small chores around the house and you like to help.  I think it makes you feel important as you see yourself contributing to the family.  You enjoy helping me in the kitchen and we cook together often.  You like making waffles, muffins, and cookies of course.  Your latest kitchen success was making guacamole for dinner.  I was very impressed when I asked you to taste it and you told me it was good but needed more lime…and you were correct. 
                You are becoming a better brother to Liam and Ellie.  You are better at sharing your toys with Liam and Liam is learning a lot from playing with you.  Every so often you stop playing and walk over to Ellie and talk to her.  She loves you so much; she smiles instantly. You are becoming more patient with Liam as he learns what it means to share. He also pushes or hits you from time to time, but you don’t react with anger—you’ve come to understand that he does not yet understand that hitting or pushing is bad.
                I will say that this past year has been the most challenging parenting year for us.  I felt guilty for putting you through so much chaos—living in Florida for seven months out of the year so I (mama) could finish my degree and then having a new baby.  This year you challenged us—discipline wise—and made us brainstorm ways to implement discipline and structure that would work for you.  You are a question-asking machine. We recently read an article that 4-year olds may ask more than 400 questions a day. You just might be living up to this statistic. Many of your questions are interesting and inquisitive, while others are just to fill in the gaps of silence in the day. Although it can be overwhelming at times (As Chandler on Friends would say, “It’s like spending a day with the Riddler”), we love that you’re so curious and so intelligent. You are so wise beyond your years; sometimes we forget that you are just a preschooler.  You often cite how you “know more” than us—particularly when you get stuck on making your point. We go back and forth sometimes as we each work to help the other person see our side. For me, this birthday was bittersweet.  I love that you’re growing up and we can talk about different things and I can see glimpses of the person you will be.  At the same time I don’t want to let go of 3 year old Gavin and the darndest things you say and do.  Still, it’s hard to believe that after another school year you’ll be in big-boy school (Kindergarten). This summer we’ll get you into some new extracurricular activities. We’re thinking about gymnastics (when your mom explained what this was you said “I already know how to do that”), tae-kwon-do, swimming, or an instrument. There’s always something new to do, and you’re usually interested in giving everything a try.  
Happy 4th Birthday Gavin!
With Love,
Mama and Daddy

2 comments:

Christina and David said...

This is fabulous. You are truly amazing parents.

Anonymous said...

What a wonderful, well written description of Gavin. I know because I am his Grandpa.I am so privileged to be a part of Gavin's growing up.