Happy 4th Months!

One year ago on this exact date I took a pregnancy test. One year ago, I was worried about how my life would change and whether I’d be able to handle it. A couple of weeks before I took the test, I was debating whether to go back to school for my PhD or have a baby. I thought each choice was exclusive of the other. Nick and I went over Plan A, B, C, and D; 2 year plans; 4 year and 5 year plans. The most logical and feasible decision was to have a baby while we were still in Orlando and had family support. As I looked down at the pregnancy test results it was difficult for me to digest it all. I could not believe that I was going to have a baby. I really had not imagined that day and it just felt weird.
One year later, I sit with a 4 month old in my lap and 6 weeks away from starting the Soc PhD program at UCF. Nick always told me that it [having a baby] would not be as hard as I made it sound. I know what he meant- once the baby is here you just do it, you take care of him and life goes on as “usual”. However, it is the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life. It is a learning process and the biggest challenge I’ve ever accepted. It’s a good thing it’s a team challenge!
A year later I am starting to realize that we can do everything we ever wanted to do –even with a child. Yes, it takes longer, it is more difficult but it is achievable. I feel stressed to no end when I just think about what the fall semester will be like for me. Nick and I will both be super busy with coursework, assistantships, teaching, work, and Gavin. However it is a short-term sacrifice that will pay off in the long run. Nick and I have dreamt about both being professors, working a school schedule with summers off to spend traveling or with family, and having the perfect schedule to balance career and Gavin. As much as I stress about it, it is nice to focus on the light at the end of the tunnel and the grand prize. I get to spend time with Gavin and have a professional life too. Nick knows how to motivate me and he keeps reminding me that by the time Gavin is 4 years old and heading to pre-school, we will both be Dr. Guittar!