14 weeks + 4 days

Over the last couple of days I have felt quite a bit of cramping but only at certain times of the day. I can only attribute this to my uterus trying to expand. I feel like I've grown a little. This makes me feel better because this last week, I felt like it was taking so long for my Dr.'s appointment to get here. I want to hear the heartbeat again, just to make sure everything is still ok. I'm in the in-between stage where I don't feel as sick anymore but I'm not able to feel the baby yet so sometimes I wonder "is she there? is she ok?" because I don't feel as pregnant.

Some books and newsletters said the baby would feel like butterflies in my stomach around this stage. I have a very nervous stomach to begin with so I knew I wouldn't be able to recognize movement this early. Especially since the books said some women mistake the movement for their own gas. However, when I spoke with my mom, she said it would feel like a little "current" (can't think of a better word to express what she said) from one side to the other. This made me realize that I shouldn't be set on the "butterfly" feeling, maybe I would feel it differently. I think I felt her on Friday evening. I didn't have any gas and I had this very new sensation in my stomach. It sort of felt like a small wave in my belly. I'm not sure if that was it or not, but that's the only time I've been able to discard gas as an alternative :). Either way, I'd like to think it was and that thought made me happy.

I received my birthing books yesterday. I started reading the birthing class text and it's a quick read-I'm already almost halfway through. I'm looking forward to the class and actually practicing the method. I really want to have a hypnobirth-I just don't have 100% confidence in myself yet that I can follow through with it. I have to "release the fear" as they say.

I'm loving my maternity wardrobe. I'm SO comfortable now.

Well, that's about the only updates I can think of for this week. My Dr.'s appointment is Wednesday (15 weeks). I'm hoping for an ultrasound order then. I'll see what he says about when does the sex of the baby show for sure. As you may have noticed, I do refer to the fetus as "she". That's about the only way I could stop calling it an "it" so I figured it's better to say "she" even if it's a "he" rather than saying "it". I even have a nickname for "her" so you know I'll be shocked if they say "it's a boy!"- not disappointed, just shocked.