The first 24 hours were exhausting. Nick and I didn't get to sleep until around 8pm on birth day. The first night at the hospital is a sleep-less one. Every hour or less, a nurse or some hospital staff would come into the room. I was afraid of holding Gavin because I was so exhausted I couldn't keep my burning eyes open. I was afraid I'd fall asleep w/him on me and he'd fall off the bed. We left him swaddled up in his little safe bed. Because he was swaddled up, he pretty much slept the whole night. It's just too bad we couldn't sleep while he slept (b/c of all the nurses coming in and out). Here are my thoughts so far:
Gavin: He looks like Nick but he certainly has my temper. He does not hesitate to scream bloody murder when he's not happy. It wasn't until today that Nick and I felt comfortable ignoring him and just "getting the job done". It was so overwhelming to change his diaper as he's screaming at the top of his lungs. Nick soon learned to just ignore him and just to take his time to do it right rather than fast just because he's screaming. Today we discovered that the pacifier will keep him calm during diaper changes- it's SO much better now.
He is super cute when he's calm. He likes to spread his arms and tries to unswaddle himself everytime. Nick learned how to restrain little Houdini today. He's got lethal gas! (he just farted as I'm typing this). This is all very surreal to me. It hasn't set in yet.
Motherhood: My "maternal instinct" is still a work in progress. I felt guilty for not crying the moment I saw him for the first time. I didn't know what to say or do when they gave him to me. I just focused on how he looked. I was surprised that he looks like Nick. Today I feel much closer to him. He definitely knows who I am and prefers me. I'm not sure how to handle the "dependency" on me part yet (see breastfeeding). I am definitely more comfortable holding him today. I also talked to him today and it didn't feel weird to me.
Breastfeeding: It is super frustrating for both of us. I've pretty much seen every lactation consultant at every shift here. Today we got it right for the most part. I'm still having issues with my left side. He and I prefer the right side and the consultants are afraid I'll end up lopsided (once again!). I was given a hospital grade electric pump today because he did not nurse much yesterday and they want to avoid him becoming jaundiced. The pump is not a picnic at the park- it freaking hurts. Not only does it not feel good but it makes my uterus contract like mild labor contractions (nursing overall makes this happen). It's quite distracting while I'm nursing and it takes away the "soothing and bonding" aspect of nursing people refer to. I think I may go to bottle-feeding soon so that I can get help and not get as frustrated.
Fatherhood: I'm sure Nick will blog about it soon. Nick didn't hesitate about anything. He's done such a great job. He is mastering diapering. He was sprayed on today and handled it really well. I have not changed a diaper yet. Nick is so proud of Gavin. He is spoiling him by holding him a lot. I can see how much he loves him already!
Recovery: I only got 2-3 stitches after labor. So far I only have mild discomfort when I go to the bathroom and go back to sitting on the bed. The uterine cxn's are very similar to early labor cxns but I'm managing without any pain meds. Honestly, the worst feeling is the feeling where the epi was set. It still feels like it's in there and it freaks me out. I hope that goes away soon.
I'll blog more later. It's taken me HOURS to type these posts between feedings, diaper changes, and nurses in and out. We won't have pics until we go home tomorrow b/c we forgot the camera cord for the laptop. I can't wait to be home! :)
2 comments:
Congratulations on your new baby! Don't give up on breast feeding, it is so much better for your baby. Its something you won't regret. Your local La Leche leaders can help you. Its the only way I was able to figure it out! Congrats again.
http://www.lllflorida.com/web/CentralFL.html
Congratulations! I have been holding back the urge to call yet another time, but I know how exhausting these first few days can be, and all the adapting you have to do to this new life. I feel your joy and your pain so hang in there, I am sure that you and Nick are doing a great job. The motherly instict WILL kick in, you'll see. Like I told you before, as much as we may want to control things....life happens, and you just have to go with the flow. I too was freaked out with the epidural, and also had to be poked twice because they did it wrong the first time. I still have knumbness in between my hips and thighs...to this day! I agree with Kym (use all the resources at hand)...I cried for two weeks straight just at the thought of another feeding session. But once you get passed two weeks, you'll be a pro. It takes time and patience because it is new for both of you. Make sure he latches on correctly cause if not it hurts like hell, and just get ready for the "letdown" when your colustrum actually gets replaced with milk. It feels like lightning bolts have hit your breast...but I promise it gets better and you will feel the bond with Gavin. In the end, breastfeeding is a very personal decision, and if it isn't for you...you will know. Don't give up! I am so proud of you guys and welcome to parenthood! Please recieve a big hug and kiss from all of the Correas. Miss you guys and enjoy baby Gavin as much as you can because they grow so quickly! Goodnight, and Goodluck! Tania, Javier, Janaliz & Aylani
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