Nick started school again today so Gavin and I were alone from 12:30pm-9:30pm. Last night was a bad night of sleep for me. Gavin was fussy all night. He seems to be in pain when he poops. I'll have to ask the pediatrician about that.
Today was a challenging day for me. I was home alone with Gavin and sleep deprived. I had to walk away from him at one point just to keep myself calm and not lose it. He refused to latch on all day. He cried incessively anytime I put him down. I don't want him to get used to me carrying him around b/c I won't be around in a few weeks and I don't want Nick or my mom to suffer from a spoiled child. At one point, I thought to myself- this is how people end up shaking their babies! I understand that he's a baby and his crying means he needs something. It's just frustrating when I know he is hungry and he refuses to latch on. I can't rationalize his behavior. You would think biologically he would know to stop crying and latch on so he could get food and satisfy the hunger but instead he just keeps crying only frustrating both of us with no results. He ate all the reserved pumped milk I had so I had to let him cry while I pumped more- after already giving in to a 2 oz bottle of formula. It wasn't until 8pm that he fell asleep. He is now sleeping in the pack n play in our bedroom while I finally took a break to eat dinner and go to the bathroom.
I hope tomorrow he wakes up in a good mood.
1 comment:
Steph, I am sorry it was a trying day too. I am sure it makes it a little better when you have Nick there just so you don't feel alone with the trying times. Maybe the pedi will have some ideas or know what Gavin is feeling at those times. I do think you are doing a good thing by not holding him all the time though. Right now, as when he was born, you are his security place and zone. Nothing feels as good as momma's arms to him. Soon he will find his own safty places like his little seat with all the bells and whistles. This is a very trying time for all good devoted mommas. If you do feel he has a tummy ache, try the warm cloth on his belly, or gently rub his belly. There also is nothing wrong with calling Mom or me at anytime you feel overwhelmed. When the boys were tiny, they liked me to dance with them to gentle loud music. But hey, you don't want that to happen all the time either. Things will smooth out. Hang in there, you are a wonderful mother. Call anytime, if you need me I'll be there! I think that was a song!
Love,
Mary-Mom
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